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Writer's pictureLeika Mark Noppenau

I don't know

I don’t know everything. I don’t know the truth. I can’t see everything. There is SO much I don’t know. . . . Do you know everything? Can you see all the angles, corners of every subject, situation, circumstance, culture, tradition and religion? Do you know the past of every single person in the whole world? Have you taken all the educations that exist? Can you speak all the languages including sign and vibration language? Have you been to the end of the galaxy? If you have please call me. I would very much like to meet you. . . . There is so much I don’t know. I can only speak 3 languages, understand 3 more. I’ve only read a few history books. I haven’t read the books that never got published. I haven’t read the books that got censored. I can’t always read between the lines. I didn’t have Nazi grandparents. I didn’t have Jewish grandparents. I didn’t hear the words spoken to the black people that were shipped to America. I didn’t hear the rationalization, justification and arguments to why black people could and should be enslaved. The world, people and nature has been presented to beings by other beings. No one has ever known the full truth about absolutely everything. . . . I can’t help think about all the stuff, situations, emotions, worldviews, science, historical events, convictions and dogmas I don’t know. I know that some people claim to know the truth. I know that some people try to convince other people that their truth is the right truth, the only truth. . . . But I don’t know. I just know that there is more that I don’t know than I actually know. . . . It all comes down to a choice as I see it. The choice of listening to my intuition, gut feeling, meditation and connection to source and my higher self. And then choose trust. Trust my guts, trust my intuition. Trust the spiritual guides of love. Trust Source, God, Shiva-Shakti. Trust me. . . .

In the everyday life, we have three choices as I see it: * To live this day in love, compassion, gratitude, trust and connection. * To live this day in fear, judgement, mistrust, aggression and separation. * To live this day in nondualism, we were accept both sides of the coin, all the in betweens, areas of grey and uncertainty, choose oneness and connectedness yet have the fear as a legitimate guide when boundaries are being pushed, stepped over, crossed. Accept fear as a necessary and important state and feeling to let the individual and collective know when something is wrong or off. Fear is there to help you survive and stay safe and free. Choose to live in nondualism which includes the dualistic state, dualistic experiences, emotions, worldviews and limitations, all the paradoxes. The nondualism philosophy and feltsense doesn’t exclude anything but includes everything. Nondualism is action based in the way that you must choose how to behave and approach the world. You must choose to become aware of the unconscious. Choose to live in love and compassion or in this moment let fear guide you. To live in nondualism you must choose to expand your consciousness and see beyond the dualities, choose to uncover the veils of Maya, dualism, black and white and accept it is what of the whole. . . . BOUNDARIES can be based in love and in fear. I don’t know everyone’s boundaries. I don’t know whether they are set in love or fear. But I do know that every individual can get to know their boundaries, their “no” and “yes”. Everyone can get to know whether their boundaries are based in trust or mistrust, love or fear. I do know that exploitation, domination and control have happened throughout our human history. I know boundaries have been crossed. But how, to which extent I do not know. I don’t know if your boundaries have been crossed a thousand times or only a few times. I don’t know if you have stepped over boundaries a thousand times and you keep on doing it and choose to ignore and disrespect the “no”. I don't know if you have the courage to respect your own boundaries. I don't know why you let someone step over your boundaries. . . . I do know we can choose to live in and with, embodying the feltsense of non-dualism. Both live in accept and respect of other complex, paradoxical, dualistic and non-dualistic beings, choose to listen to the other person and still stay in connection with our own intuition and heart. Everyone, every single human being has their own TRUTH, history, past, narratives, intuition, fear, judgement, dogmas, traumas, dreams, desire, love and compassion. . . . As I see it. HUMBLENESS is the answer to the fact that truth is individual. HUMBLENESS is the answer to the fact that you will never know everything, you will never know another person’s full complexity and truth. You are blind to yourself and others in many ways. The unconscious is unconscious. . . . My advice is to stay humble when you meet a person or an opinion. Stay humble before uttering your opinion and judgement. #humbleness #idontknow #awakening #enlightenment #reflectionyoga . . . I wasn’t born a black girl in South Africa in 1978. I was born a white girl in the country side in Denmark. I read history books written by white people. The dark skinned children I knew were adopted. There were no statues of black people in Denmark and no black politicians. I was served a reality that the human beings in my surroundings tried to sell me as truth and real. I wasn’t born a Muslim girl in Iraq in 1978. I have no idea of how that was like and what truth I would have been sold and told to believe. I have no idea of what information, knowledge and wisdom was given and what was not. I wasn’t born Bill Gates. I have no idea of who that being is. I wasn’t born to be him. I don’t know the unconsciousness of his parents or the religious belief of his grandparents. I have no idea what so ever what inspires him, what his fears are or if he has compassion for someone or something or all beings. I was born amongst animals and fields. I was the daughter of hairdresser that loved fashion, royalties, gossip, country music and taking pictures of loved ones. I was the daughter of a carpenter who had a very dry, black sense of humor, who cursed in every other sentence, who was creative with his hands, who smoked cigarettes and a pipe and who loved animals yet kept them in cages. I was born into a “poor” family yet I was showered in Barbie dolls. My mother was often depressed with migraines she ate different types of pills every single day, anti depressive pills for 30 years and ended up as an alcoholic. She died of atypical Parkinsonism at the age of 69. My dad died of a blood clot in his heart 60 years old. I have very little family left and last year I didn’t receive any Christmas gifts. This is not my full story. This is not the full truth of Leika. . . . I don’t know your story or past. . . . I know there is so much I don’t know. I know there is so much information, knowledge and wisdom I don’t have. I know I can choose to be a little wiser every day. . . . I do know. That we are all made of energy. That we all have energy in us. That we have Energy-in-motion, Emotions, feelings, love and fear, all of us human beings. I know we all have an unconsciousness, subconsciousness and a past. I know we all look out of our windows and see something. I know that there is something we can’t see. . . . When my gut feeling tell me to be aware, that danger is around the corner I trust it. When my gut and my heart tell me that my boundaries are being crossed I trust that. When I experience my freedom being endangered “Braveheart” enters my Bodymind for a reason that I don’t know, but I listen to that reaction and wonder with open eyes. . . . Your past is not wrong. It is yours. It made you you. My past is not wrong. It made me me and I am not wrong or unworthy or inferior to any other being. But my past colored me, formed and shaped me. I am now looking out from my house and I see what I see. As do you. You see what you see. We are both equally blind. . . . Stay humble and remember your humanity. I will do my best to stay humble and remember all that I can’t see.



In humbleness and light Leika.


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